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Buddhadharma : Summer 2006
buddhadharma| 63 |summer 2006 you may feel you don’t have enlightenment and that your practice is not good enough.” When you feel that way, you have better practice and deeper understanding – actual understanding of enlighten- ment, which is beyond the realm of good or bad. In this way, enlightenment will be attained in easy times as well as in adversity. Wherever you are, enlightenment is there. If you stand upright where you are, that is enlightenment. It means accepting “things as it is,” accepting yourself as you are. Soto practice is called “I don’t know” zazen. We don’t know what zazen is anymore. I don’t know who I am. That is the Soto way. To find complete composure when you don’t know who you are or where you are – that is to accept “things as it is.” Even though you don’t know who you are, you accept yourself. That is “you” in its true sense. When you know who you are, that “you” will not be the real you. You may overestimate yourself quite easily, when you don’t know: “Oh, I don’t know.” When you do feel that way, you are you, and you know yourself completely. That is enlightenment. Perhaps, even though I speak this way, you may feel, “He is saying something unusual. He is fool- ing us.” But actually it is not so. The only thing Icansayisthatyouliketobefooledbyme.IfI don’t fool you, you will not listen to my lectures. Dogen Zenji says, “People do not like something real, and they like something that is not real.” I am very strict with you on that point. Even though you make some mistake, I will not say anything. But if you have some false confidence, unreal self, I shall be very strict with you, because you are in danger. I think our teaching is very good – very, very good. But if we become too arrogant and believe in ourselves too much, we will be lost. There will be no teaching at all, no Buddhism at all. So when we find the joy of our life in our composure, when we don’t know what it is, when we don’t understand anything, then our mind is said to be very great, very wide. Your mind is open to everything. From what should we be relieved? That is the point. We should be relieved from this kind of arrogance, this kind of selfish life, this kind of immature, childish way. And our mind should be big enough to know before we know something. We should be grateful before we have something. Without anything, we should be very happy. Before we attain enlighten- ment, we should be happy to practice our way, or else we cannot attain anything in its true sense. Thank you very much. © San FranciSco Zen center I think our teaching is very good—very, very good. But if we become too arrogant and believe in ourselves too much, we will be lost. There will be no teaching at all, no Buddhism at all. MARkAbRAMS