using the arrow buttons.
by clicking on the page.
the page around when zoomed in by dragging it.
the zoom using the slider when zoomed-in.
by clicking on the zoomed-in page.
by entering text in the search field, and select "This Issue" or "All Issues"
by clicking on thumbnails to select pages, and then press the print button.
displays sections with thumbnails and descriptions.
displays a slider of thumbnails. Click on a page to jump.
allows you to browse the full archive.
about your subscription?
Buddhadharma : Win 2012
20 BUDDHADHARMA: THE PRACTITIONER’S QUARTERLY WINTER 2 0 1 2 Second, it isn’t particularly advisable to tell children what to do; actually, it appears that children love to do the opposite of what you tell them. Some- times I don’t even have to say it out loud—I just think about what my son should do, and he is already saying no or doing the contrary. If giving your children advice isn’t effective, what can you as a parent do to guide them? Who you are, what you feel, and what actions you take are what really count. If you want your children to meditate, create the right environ- ment, both inside yourself and at home. Practice every day and speak gently and kindly—these things matter. Children observe and get information through all their senses. Even the quality of silence in your home is important. Your state of being, your level of awareness, your emotions, stresses, and joy—all these affect your children. Whatever you are doing, your children see. My son used to like a particular chant that is sung every day in the mon- astery in my tradition, and I used to play it on a CD when he was two years old. Then we didn’t play it for a while, and he forgot it. Now I put on a recording of a beautiful prayer every morning while I do prostrations, and sometimes I con- tinue to play it in the house afterward. The other day my son remarked, “I like this music! It makes me feel calm.” Often my son doesn’t want to go to sleep when it’s his bedtime, and when bedtime comes, he suddenly changes his personality. He becomes the ideal child, the person we, his parents, want him to become—so affectionate, so loving! And then he asks me things I would normally want him to, such as to teach him tsa lung practice. When I tell him it’s too late and that it’s time to go to sleep, he’ll plead with me, saying, “Oh, Dad, please teach me the practice. I really want to learn it.” So I’ll agree to teach him for ten minutes and then he has to go to bed. In this way he has learned all the names of the movements and how to do them. Obviously, my son would never show interest in the practice while in the middle of a computer game. So it’s parents expose them to various situa- tions. When I was young, I was able to spend a lot of time alone in churches. Listening to the silence was powerful and is perhaps why I was so drawn to meditation when I was older. Watching my mother in church was also compel- ling and inspiring and helped me con- nect to inner and outer stillness. There are also children and youth dharma programs at some meditation centers. If your sons are interested, you could try it once and see how it goes. But it’s important to remember that chil- dren have their own karma; they learn in their own ways and in their own time. All we can do is our best and then let go. Trust in your practice and your sincerity. You want the very best for them. How can that not be a blessed and beautiful thing in their lives? TENZIN WANGYAL RINPOCHE: This is a very good question, and one that I have per- sonally been dealing with, as I have a young son. My answer will come more from my life experience than from any dharma text. First, my wife and I do not buy game consoles or portable gaming devices. However, I used to have both an iPad and an iPhone. I had a good excuse for not lending them to my son because I needed them for my work. But when he’d see me on my iPhone, he’d ask if he could use the iPad and then often he would download game after game. Finally, I gave the iPad away. The only time he can play with my iPhone is when I’m home, and I travel quite a bit. The last time I was about to go away, I was talking with him, wishing him well in school, and we were recit- ing a prayer together. Suddenly, in the middle of the prayer, he said, “Dad, are you going to leave your iPhone home?” Buying games and gadgets and then expecting a child not to want to spend time on them isn’t very realistic. If you need control over how much your chil- dren use them, don’t have them around. My wife and I are even thinking of get- ting rid of our television. So not having too many gadgets around is one thing.