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Buddhadharma : Fall 2012
FALL 2 0 1 2 BUDDHADHARMA: THE PRACTITIONER’S QUARTERLY 53 It is a very powerful and joyful action when you come to the point. It feels like your destination is reached, your search is ended. It doesn’t end, but you feel that. At that point you don’t look around for somebody, you just feel very con- fident about what you are doing, and about yourself. I always think of Christ, right before he was captured. Everybody was exhausted and sleeping, and he went away from his people and talked with God. When Buddha sat on his seat, conquering evil, a similar thing happened, inter- nally, in his mind. It is the question of life or death, whether you continue to live or you end your life, give up your practice, your search. We call it an attack of Mara. It is not Mara attack- ing you from somewhere else, it’s within you, so you need a strong sense of determination. It is like arrows of hatred, poisoned arrows coming at you, but they stop in space and fall away. When Buddha had a vision of lightning in the sky, it exploded and turned to blossoms landing on the ground. These images symbolize the changes that can happen in finding the way. Desire Somehow our existence is conditioned, so to see and feel the conditions is very important. Washing rice to make pizza is not a good idea! You have to do something that is possible and is related to your purpose. See reality, admit what is there, begin to work on what is missing, what has to be connected with, added, kept, what should remain and what should be cut off. See clearly. Your mind is dependent on knowledge to function, so if mind is not working, everything is nonsense. When it’s working, the instrument is in tune and it can become wisdom. “Unattainable” is the recognition of the rich- ness of attaining. The more you go the same way, the more you feel there is no end to this way. Do not be disappointed. This is merit. Desires have objects. You have to remember this. You want to eat an apple, and you eat it, and you feel fulfilled. But the desire for apple has not ended. It is beginning. The desire for apples begins after fulfillment. The end of desire is the appearance of wisdom. Desire is the process of The direction that this whole universe is moving is the direction of your deepening zazen. It is not a personal feeling. It is the direction your existence is supposed to go, so it is a natural thing you are doing. PHOTOGRAPHERUNKNOWN Kobun Chino Roshi doing a brush calligraphy