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Buddhadharma : Fall 2005
buddhadharma| 21 |fall 2005 most intimate commitment, do you see your continuing practice as supporting and encouraging the development of quali- ties which would make you a more present and responsive husband (and perhaps even a father)? “nonattachment” does not mean that we cannot love someone or be committed to a spouse or family. it means that we have understood that all conditioned things are marked by impermanence, not-self, and unsatisfactoriness (dukkha). Therefore, we do not cause ourselves misery by clinging to an idea of a substantial, permanent self or other, because we know that everything is changing and contingent on myriad causes and conditions. We make our best effort to stay in the present moment and to respond compassionately to whatever is directly in front of us, rather than cling to any idea. if you have an idea of marriage as something that might interfere with practice, rather than as a relationship that enhances your practice opportunities, you might have a concern for self in the back of your mind. it is good and useful to examine our ideas of who we think we are and to real- ize that any definition limits whatever we are to less than the totality of just this, which includes the whole universe and is vaster than we imagine or are able to imagine. And it is useful to notice that clinging to ideas of practice, or of one- self, leads to suffering. So moment after moment, we make our best effort to just practice nonattachment or nonclinging in every situation. Geshe TenZin WanGyal rinPoche: Any chal- lenging situation in life can be workable when two qualities are present: openness and clarity. One question to ask yourself as you consider the commitment of mar- riage is, “Am i clear and strong in my dedication and commitment to dharma practice?” Another essential question is, “is my partner open and respectful towards my developing relationship with the dharma?” if these two are present, i don’t see any problem. if you lack strength or resolve, it’s important to avoid blaming your partner for your own inability to practice and feelings of guilt. But if your partner has a strong fundamental belief in another way and lacks tolerance for your view and practice, you should avoid this situation. if i make my belief and practice a priority in life and someone is going to interfere Nichiren Shu Namu Myoho Renge Kyo www.nichiren-shu.org Resources for Study & Practice for Groups and Individuals • Library Facility • Reference Materials and Study Guides in Japanese and English NBIC Nichiren Buddhist International Center 29490 Mission Blvd • Hayward, CA 94544 510-690-1222 email: NBIC@nichiren-shu.org North America 323-262-7886 Hawaii 808-595 -3517 London 44-20-8349-1433